6 Tips on Celebrating the Holidays with Family Members Diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimer’s

Time has a wonderful way of showing what really matters. - Margaret Peters

Let’s face it. Things are different when a family member is diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s Disease. Consider that the patient may not be able to travel a far distance or any distance at all, their diet has changed, they may not recognize other family members, and it is likely they may not even know that there is a holiday.

But none of these reasons should prevent the inclusion of the family member diagnosed with one of these diseases. Even those with a severe diagnosis can feel attention and love and share in the spirit of a holiday.

Stop a minute and think how you can bring inclusion and happiness to that patient and how you can show others in your family how to do so, too.

1. Time for a New Celebration!

It is not that important to repeat past traditions. Feel free to create a new celebration and celebrate with them before or after the holiday if the actual “holiday day” does not work out.

Also consider taking the celebration to them rather than bringing them to the celebration. What things might you add to this special celebration:

Bring in foods and drinks that they enjoy and can eat and swallow
Sing songs or play music and include some of their old favorites
Decorate their room with crepe paper, balloons, flowers, cards, etc.
Share a holiday photo collection
Bring in some scented lotions and gently apply to their face, hands and feet
Select a gift that they may need and enjoy: a warm sweater or pair of wool socks, a blanket, picture magazines, gift cards for haircuts, etc.

2. Inform other family members of the situation ahead of time

Let other family members know of the current state of your loved one. Explain that the cognitive decline and the lack of memory are symptoms of the disease (and any other specific manifested symptoms).

Suggest that when talking, that they look at the person and speak slower and with shorter sentences. Inform them that the patient might repeat conversation and ask repeated questions.

Try to stress patience and not interrupting when the person is talking. Try also not to have more than one conversation going on at one time.

3. Rethink the size and time of the gathering

You might want to have a small group celebration so it is easier for the person to understand and feel more comfortable. Or you might consider bringing one group of people for a short time, and then another group of people.

Having the celebration in the daylight hours might work better for several reasons: many of these patients suffer from Sundowner’s, the occurrence of sadness, agitation, fear, and other mood and behavior changes before dark; they may tire easily or have an early bedtime; and overall concentration is often better earlier in the day when they are rested.

4. Involve the person when possible

When appropriate, involve the patient. Can they help decorate – this can be holding the items and handing them to you to put up or helping tape cards to a door or closet so they are not easily lost; can they help prepare the food – again, nothing too demanding... adding one ingredient and stirring is fine or frosting a cupcake and adding sprinkles; can they set the table – simply adding a napkin to the side of each plate. Genuinely thank the person for helping.

Encourage your loved one to reminisce about old times and encourage their contribution to the conversation. If speaking is difficult for them, hold their hand or give them a smile or gentle touch. All of these gestures will let them know that they are indeed a part of this holiday celebration!

5. Involve others at the care facility

If your loved one lives at a care facility, consider bringing in a favorite holiday food for the staff or other patients (inquire ahead of time for suggestions for the other patients).

Talk to the director or activity director prior to your designated celebration and ask if you can sing holiday songs for the other residents to join in. Or you might offer to read a favorite holiday poem, play or story out loud. Perhaps a family member can play the piano or another musical instrument – think of how these talents might be included.

6. Go easy on yourself

If you are a caregiver or someone responsible for your loved one in any way, ease up on the celebrations. Maybe you can plan less and give up some activities that just take up too much time (sending cards, baking and distributing the goods, and even some of the decorating). Push this off for another year or two.

Just remember, the holidays are a wonderful time to bring family together. It is time to get caught up and to reminisce. It is time to build memories. The details of the actual celebration are not as important.

Remind yourself that it is the time spent and how others feel that matters most.

Make this count.

Happy Holidays to you and yours!

6 Tips on Celebrating the Holidays with Family Members Diagnosed with Dementia or Alzheimer's | Senior Living Link