Showing Respect for Your Elders
Posted by Donna Mae Scheib on October 11, 2018
Showing Respect for Your Elders
Respect your elders is a phrase that encompasses listening and valuing the wisdom and knowledge of those that have lived the longest and share their own lessons learned with younger family and friends. However, our society today reflects the older generation as frail, forgetful, and many times seniors are forgotten or estranged by their loved ones. Ageism, or discriminating a person by their age, is something that is prevalent today as well. Can you think of other common stereotypes that are associated with seniors in our society? Our culture values the essence of youth and we tend to give our respect towards a person by what they can do (what job they have) and what they look like, instead of who they are as a person. In psychological studies, the more often we hear or see something repeated, the more likely we are to believe it as fact and truth. If we are constantly surrounded by the message that seniors are not worthy of respect and value because they have since retired from a profession or their physical appearance has changed over time, how will we be able to respect ourselves when it’s our turn to be a senior? Setting aside the argument of every person deserving respect vs. earning respect, what are ways we can continue to recognize each other through the aging process?
Consider these following ways to value and respect your loved ones!
- Take time to learn about the aging process; many families begin to distance themselves from older loved ones when they don’t understand what is happening and why the person is changing.
- Express empathy; try and put yourself in the other person's shoes and think about what you would be feeling or thinking.
- No matter how small, try and offer a choice because this offers a sense of independence. Living a lifetime with being able to do what you want and losing this independence is hard. Although you may see offering or giving help as the right thing to do, they may be uncomfortable with accepting help or accepting the idea that they will always need assistance with something (such as losing the ability to drive).
- Include your loved one in family events; this offers inclusion and respects their presence and role in the family (even if things aren’t the same as they had been)
- Ask your loved one about their childhood and stories about your family. You may be surprised at what you didn’t know, and you will feel more connected to your family history!
- Take time to make or eat a meal with your older loved one; this offers a chance for bonding and helps them to understand their presence is important!
- If a senior in your life has recently retired and are not quite sure of what to do with their time, think of projects or activities that would be helpful with their assistance, perhaps babysitting grandchildren or using one of their gifts and talents for a family or church event, or even a house project!
- If your loved one lives far away in a senior living community, still take the time to reach out and call. Lending an ear and really listening to what they are enjoying in their life and what has become a struggle also is a way to respect your loved one by showing you care to listen.
Many of us have a hard time expressing how we feel but taking the time to tell someone you love them and respect them can make a big impact and will be something that the seniors (and truly anyone else) in your life will appreciate.
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